Let me hear joy and gladness;let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity. (Psalm 51:8-9 NIV)
When I read through this Psalm, I am reminded of how little control I maintain over my life and my future. I may think my life is all together, that I am always in control, but truth be said out loud, I am so out of control it isn't funny.
There is a picture in my mind's eye of what I want tomorrow to look like. In an instant I am confronted with reality. The reality is, I don't know best, but God does. He sees the big picture and only He understands my true needs.
As I prayed this morning, and scribbled in my journal those scripture verses that touched me, I came to realize I am not praying for God's will. I am assuming my will is best and I am focusing on those dreams and ambitions I dumped on my prayer-table over the years.
I made a decision a few weeks ago and I now recognize it as, 'me' controlling my future. And controlling this future in the way I want to see played out. I have been praying, but not listening with open ears. My heart and mind already focused on my dream, not God's response. I need to practice listening - opening myself to what God planned for me. I understand from experience how His way is best. These aren't just nice words, they are truth. Truth, something I need to invite more of in my life.
Is there something you are praying about and trying to control at the same time? Why don't we give up this behavior together? We can discover what it is like to hear God and to follow His plan and not ours. I want to find out. Are you with me?
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