I Love Change

Be kind to me, God—
I’m in deep, deep trouble again. (Psalm 31:9 MSG)

Even before I knew God, understood His love for me, I instinctively called upon Him when I was in a jam. "Oh, Lord, what have I done now?" I would cry out into the air, words of desperation. It was my feeble attempt to enlist the help of anyone who might hear. But nothing changed.

My brokeness often brought me to my knees, fearful of my plight. I spoke to myself, hoping to talk my way out of a jam. I didn't understand about sin and about forgiveness. I just cried out, tears falling, trouble building. But nothing changed.

Deeper I sunk into the pit of self-absorption, all the time seeking something, but knowing nothing about the One who could, who would rescue me. Until one day, when all seemed lost, when life seemed pointless and I had nothing more to lose, something changed.

With nothing to lose, my heart opened to the voice inside and I began to hear truth. The One who had been trying to get my attention for oh, so many years, had me. Life kicked me when I was down, stomped on my heart and tore at me from the inside. Things were changing.

From the inside out. That is how my change began. Inside I could feel a pull to something better. Hope began to bubble and I went from being stuck in the muck and mire of a pit of despair, to something else. I began to recognize just who it is who could save me from myself. And God started to move and to change me.

Desperate, I throw myself on you:
you are my God! (Psalm 31:14 MSG)

Change is all around, every day, and it is beautiful.

Psalm 31:9-16