Friendships, the best investment of time

This week we are practicing how to Cultivate real empathy.

What is empathy? I thought I knew, but felt compelled to take a peak at what Webster had to say about it. empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. In the contexts where the two words do overlap, sympathy implies sharing (or having the capacity to share) the feelings of another, while empathy tends to be used to mean imagining, or having the capacity to imagine, feelings that one does not actually have.

Psalm 144:3 (NIV)
O LORD, what is man that you care for him, the son of man that you think of him? 

I think it boils down to being able to relate to someone and what they are going through, without experiencing it yourself. I sense your pain without having been on the receiving end of the hurtful words that were flung at you. I can cry with you when you lose a spouse or child, because I care about you.

As with many situations, none of my overtures mean anything if there isn't a relationship to back up my actions which gives authenticity to the empathy. Building connections with people, leads to honest relationships, where I can be real and so can you. I have to know you care before I will be able to take comfort in your words and actions. Holding each other at arms length is not how God wants us to live.

It is risky, but necessary for us to invest in the lives of our neighbors, co-workers, and family. This is one step out of a selfish existence and into a selfless, loving and healthy life.

Psalm 144:3-4

Strive toward Self-less living

2 Corinthians 5: 14-15 

Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own. (Message)
2 Corinthians 5: 14-15 
14 For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. (NIV)

I love reading two versions of the same passage, side-by-side. I can often see more clearly what the words intend for me to understand. It also helps me see how I can personally apply these words to my own life. For application is where the rubber meets the road. Simply reading these inspired words without giving thought to how they might apply to me, is wasting opportunity for growth.

When Jesus was on the earth, He modeled the selfless life perfectly. Then he admonishes us to do the same. I know that I am far from self-less. In fact I am, more often than not, selfish and make everything all about me and my desires. 

Jesus acted for the benefit of those around him, by thinking of others' needs and suppressing His own desires. Jesus died for each of us. That is the most selfless act of all time. John 15:13 reads: Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. We might think we can act like this too. Remember Peter when he told Jesus, "Lord, why can't I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you." (John 13:36) We know how that turned out. If not, read John 13:38.

Life lived while deferring to our neighbors, is the type of living Jesus wants for us. Unity will thrive in an environment of selflessness.


2 Corinthians 5:11-21