No More Shame

I used to isolate from the world. Raised in an alcoholic home, I learned to adopt coping mechanisms to help survive daily living. Then, as an adult I continued to employ these tools as I navigated my world. I became adept at avoiding social events and managed to keep everyone at arm’s length for years.

Then, Jesus changed everything. I know now God did not create us to live isolated and apart. The LORD God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)

Jesus became my first friend. Then He used a number of people along the way as His instruments, opening up a world of relationships and trust. Psalm 139 spoke to my heart and breathed new life into my spirit. These words burrowed deep into my heart and a refining process began.

 Fear struck when I read the first two verses: O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. I did not feel comforted. I was afraid that God would be shaking his head and I visualized the 'finger-shame' image, putting me in my place.

I continued to study the Psalm and discovered it teaches how God knows us inside and out and still He loves us. The comfort this introverted isolationist gleaned from this Psalm is a miracle in itself. But that is how our God works. The fact I was able to feel how warm and safe it is to rest in His arms, provided a new sensation. I wanted more; I wanted God to Hem me in. I did not want to go it alone any longer.

I came to another realization. Remember that finger-shame image I was expecting? I discovered if I look at it from a new angle it looks like a cross. Isn't that just what Jesus does for us? Takes our life, sifts it through a filter of forgiveness and shows us a new way to see things. Forgiven eyes have the sharpest vision.

Psalm 139:1-12