From Guilt to Change to Forgiveness

And it's clear enough, isn't it, that we're sinners, every one of us, in the same sinking boat with everybody else? Our involvement with God's revelation doesn't put us right with God. What it does is force us to face our complicity in everyone else's sin. Romans 3:19-20 (The Message)

Guilt is a powerful force. This emotion produces shame and leaves us empty. The best case scenario is we will get to the point where this uncomfortable sensation prompts us to change, and acknowledge our guilt, and seek forgiveness. This is a process and one not achieved straightaway.

For many years I never saw the seriousness of the devastating path I traveled. Every day my stomach ached, and I couldn't shake it. I wasnt I'll, at least not physically; but my behaviors affected me like an illness. I compare this to a nervous stomach experienced while waiting to deliver a speech or sitting in the hospital waiting room anticipating the results of a test.

The day I faced my sinful my ways and made the decision to change, things didn't happen just because I said so. A day-to-day heart change took place. Some days I failed, and guilt would grab hold of me pouring a tidal wave of shame over me.

Over and over I would vow to do better. This change of heart became a gradual process, and one I repeated until it sank in. Each time I failed, I saw an opportunity to pursue forgiveness. In time and through prayer, the new behaviors outnumbered the old ones. But again, the process is long, allowing for God to grow me and draw me close to Him.