Unmet Expectations

What to do When...Everyone is Counting on You

Have you ever felt the kind of pressure which stems from other people's expectations and/or needs? The parent of a newborn understands this kind of need. The child of an aging parent with health issues, understands this situation also.  But what about you? Is there someone who is counting on you to do or to be something for them?

When I meet with a new group of women, in my attempt to get to know them better, I frequently ask, "Do you have a dream? What do you look forward to in life?"  Most of the time I see  blank stares and quizzical looks revealing that many of us have no dreams to follow. No dreams to grasp and pursue.

Mark Ballenger, in a recent blog post wrote: "Expectations and desires are such a beautiful and yet dangerous part of life. To have a dream, let alone seeing it fulfilled, creates a feeling in your heart that is essential for a meaningful life. To have desires is to have a heart that is alive." For years, I had quiet dreams, dreams I never shared anywhere but in my journal-if there. There was a season that my dreams were the dreams of my husband, to retire in the north-woods of WI. For the longest time, this was my worst nightmare - but that is another story.

Following my husband's death, I realized I had no dreams to pursue, nothing that I could call real meaning for life. Then I pulled out my old journals and those dreams were rekindled. I began to understand that if I had no dreams, no feeling of hope, it probably meant I had lost my heart and passion for life. But I knew that was not true.

As I was praying about my "One Word" for 2018, God lead me to the word DREAM.  He also provided Psalm 37:4 for me to embrace and believe.    

Delight yourself in the LORD 

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Read Esther 1-3, and discover the backstory to this faithful Queen's life. There were many expectations placed on her, and she lived up to them.

Esther 3:1-9

Did you know God's name is not mentioned in the Hebrew text of Esther? But, the beautiful story it is all about faith and trust in the One True God. The story of Esther is also one of hatred of the Jews and revenge and deceit directed by Haman, the Kings most honored nobleman.  When Esther's Jewish caregiver, Mordecai, would not bow down and worship Haman, as the other royal officials did, Haman wanted to get even.  But he decided again killing Mordecai, making plans to destroy all of Mordecai's people.  This was a scary time to be Jewish.

Haman was a decedent of the Amalekites, ancient enemies of the Israelites.  The hatred he felt was ingrained in him from childhood much like the fabled Hatfield and McCoy feud.  Hatred knows no reasoning or rational, only revenge.

Mordecai's actions were not the safest ones to take, but he was a faithful man of God and would not worship other gods.  This did not make him very popular in the palace.  We can remember that Daniel's three friends had the same convictions.  Mordecai was also one of those who were taken into captivity by King Nebuchadnezzar.

"When Haman saw for himself that Mordecai didn't bow down and kneel before him, he was outraged. Meanwhile, having learned that Mordecai was a Jew, Haman hated to waste his fury on just one Jew; he looked for a way to eliminate not just Mordecai but all Jews throughout the whole kingdom of Xerxes." (Esther 3:5-6)

This is another story of pride getting in the way of loving our neighbor. We could parallel this story with our times today. Christians are often outcasts for attending church on Sunday or participating in a Christian Small Group when they could accept their neighbor's invitation to a round of golf instead of church. Because of our faith, our priorities are different. Because of Mordecai's belief in God, his priorities were different too.

Perhaps the parallel is unbalanced, but someday it won't be. Someday we will be persecuted severely, as many of our brothers and sisters in other countries are right now. Let's remember them in our prayers.

Read Esther 3:1-9 here

Listen to Esther 3:1-9 here